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You are the ONE you're looking for!
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Part 3 - preface,
part 1,
part 2
Find Your Self, and You Will Find Your Soul
Mate
What will cause you to be UNCLEAR
or to abandon
your heart?
Fear is the cause for
being UNCLEAR and abandoning your heart, or not telling the
truth as you feel it in any situation... the fear
of
experiencing
pain associated with loss, or not getting what you want
in a relationship.
 We all have an ideal of what
we think love should be, once we finally find it. This image is
shaped by what we are taught growing up by family,
friends, peers, culture, and society. When we enter into a relationship, we look to
our partner to fulfill this ideal
of love. It is the FEAR of being DISAPPOINTED, if
this ideal is not met, that tempts us to abandon our
true selves, and to put on a mask, and play the role of the person we
think we need to be, in order to get what we want.
EXPECTATION comes from Latin expectare, a
compound of ex- 'out' and spectare 'look.' When you expect something, you literally 'look out' for
and anticipate
it.
When you place an expectation on someone, you
are looking out to them (outside of yourself) for fulfillment.
DISAPPOINTMENT originally and
literally meant, 'to deprive of an appointment; to fail to
keep an appointment,' the ancestor of the modern
English 'fail to satisfy an expectation, frustrate.'
I would like you to consider that when you are
looking out to someone else to fulfill your ideal of love,
you are actually dis-appointing yourself from your
soulmate... missing your appointment with him or her.
FEAR etymologically was 'danger, peril,
ambush,' and 'snare,' with the basic sense of 'trap'. It is also linked to Greek perao
'go through,' and English fare 'go,' pointing to an
underlying meaning of 'what one undergoes, experiences.'
One of the meanings today is 'to expect with misgiving,
doubt.'
Fear is
created by
thinking that you may not get what you
expect... so you will attempt to trap someone with your
ideal... try to snare them with your expectations.
PAIN
has an ancestral meaning of 'punishment,' and comes to
English from Latin pena ‘penalty,' which also gave
us 'pine.' Pine originally meant pain.
You create pain when you pine away for someone
else to
fulfill your expectations in love. Pain is the punishment
of expectation - looking outside of yourself.
 YOU MUST COME TO UNDERSTAND that when you expect
someone else to fulfill your ideal of love, you
are creating the fear that they may not... and then
when they can't or don't, it is
really you who are creating your own disappointment,
because you are looking outside of yourself for fulfillment,
and expecting someone else to be something other than what they
REALLY are.
It is never fair, and is not
love, to
place your expectations on another. It is
selfishness, pure and simple. If you are doing this, you are not giving the other person the space to be REAL and
CLEAR, and are not offering them the same unconditional love and
acceptance you desire for them to give you.
We EXPECT from each other ALL THE TIME, even without consciously
realizing it. Once you see this in yourself, you have a
responsibility to stop, fess up (be clear), and assist
others in doing the same. Set the
example, and be a safe place where they can come to
confide their true feelings... without judgment, jealousy,
blame or attack... You can only offer real love when you don't NEED
someone to be anything other
than what they are... no matter what the outcome may be. This is true love, and the meaning of "when you love
someone, set them free."
You
do not truly love someone if you cannot allow them to
be naturally who they are, and vice-versa. You must learn to
release expectations and start offering
unconditional love to others, before you will be worthy to
receive this kind of love in return.
To be
worthy of receiving love, you must first freely give it.
 You must learn to look at things as they
really are, rather than as you would like them to be. You must
stop making yourself into what others want you to be, and
learn to be true to your heart (soul). This requires the constant
practice of owning your feelings and expressing them without judgment. Do not deny or repress your feelings, but
communicate them accurately and openly, without using
them to attack or blame, and without feeling
you must
apologize for how you feel.
You must reach a point where you
can face and experience that which you desire, yet can
let go of it, if what you desire would cause you to be unclear -
not real.
The practice of being
CLEAR (an open book) will eventually
lead you to who you really are... and to your true soulmate. It may take many relationships
(practice) to get it
right, and you may stumble and fall prey to temptations (to be
unclear) along the
way, but do not get discouraged (lose your courage). As long as you
are committed
to your heart (soul) first, you will NEVER have any reason for regret.
It is a disservice to your self and others,
when you are not completely honest, and/or prolong a lie. THE TRUTH WILL SET
YOU FREE... and everyone else along with you. You must learn to
offer loyalty to others in non-possessive ways, and to give that
which you wish to receive. You
cannot do this until you have worked through your own jealousy and
fear, and are
emotionally secure and able to communicate your feelings, desires,
and concerns with
real words.
The longer you hold on to someone that is not right for you,
because you fear the pain of loss, or not finding anyone as good
to replace them, the longer your suffering
will endure... the longer your DIS-APPOINTMENT (not making
your appointment) with your true soul mate will be.
 You will start to
see that each new relationship is better than the one before. This
is because you won't need to keep learning the same lessons.
Letting go frees you to move on... By
releasing those people
who cannot accept the REAL YOU, you
open the door for a more equal love to come your
way… a true soulmate relationship.
Through The
Law of Attraction you will eventually find your self face-to-face with your soulmate, and you will know each other, because you both will have
followed the same path to find one another… the inner path... the
"to thy own self be true" path.
How To Find Your Soul Mate
& Your Self Part 4 -
4
Rules to Live Your Life By
love
letters - examples of being AUTHENTIC
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