Before we can discuss how to find yourself or your soul mate, we must define what the self and soul are. The Bible tells us we were created in the image (likeness) of God, and that God is a trinity, a Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.  So it stands to reason, that we are also triple in nature, a Father (spirit-male), Son (personality-embodiment), and Holy Ghost (soul-female). 

“And God said, Let US make man in OUR image, after OUR likeness... And God created Man in his image, in the image of God created he him; male and female.”
-Genesis 1:26-27 

In our society, and even in the dictionary, spirit and soul are synonymous. This is not correct.  Spirit and soul are two very different things. Genesis 2:7 says, “And Jehovah God formed the man out of dust from the ground (body), and blew into his nostrils the breath of life (spirit), and man became (grew to be) a living (which simply means breathing) soul (a desiring creature, heart, individual).” Another good example of us being a trinity is found in I Thessalonians 5:23, “May the God of peace himself sanctify you absolutely whole (complete, one) and may your spirit and soul and body be kept sound (together).” 

Spirit is breath, the animator, the vital principal that is immortal (deathless/changeless).  It is our intellect, ability to perceive, and is credited with thinking and willing.  It is our male aspect known as reason or logic. It is the Father or Logos.

Soul is credited with the functions of sense, our emotional nature, how we feel about what we perceive. We gauge what is right or wrong for us by how we feel about it on a heart level.  Other names for soul are instinct, intuition, gut, sixth sense, and wisdom. Soul is the Mother, our female aspect. God's soul is the Holy Ghost, the Great Mother of all souls, the Goddess.

For those of you that require it, here is evidence that the Holy Ghost is the female aspect of God, referred to as Wisdom in Proverbs:

“Blessed is the man that findeth wisdom, and is rich in prudence: The purchasing thereof is better than the merchandise of silver, and HER fruit than the chief and purest gold: SHE is more precious than all riches: and all the things that are desired are not to be compared to HER (wisdom). Length of days is in HER right hand, and in HER left hand riches and glory. HER ways are beautiful ways, and all HER paths are peaceable. SHE is a tree of life to them that lay hold on HER: and he that shall retain HER is blessed.”

“I, Wisdom, dwell with sense (sight, touch, taste, smell, and hearing - the senses considered as a total function of the bodily organism, as distinguished from intellect, movement, etc.), and search out knowledge (all that has been perceived or grasped by the mind. [Archaic] carnal knowledge: SENSUAL - of the body and the senses as distinguished from the intellect or spirit; bodily.) of wise actions. The fear of Jehovah is to hate evil; I hate pride and loftiness, and the evil way, and the perverse (persisting in error or fault; stubbornly contrary) mouth. Counsel and sound wisdom are Mine; I am understanding (discernment, sympathetic awareness, sense); I have strength. By Me kings reign, and princes decree righteousness. Rulers and nobles rule by Me, and all the judges of the earth. I love those who love Me, and those who seek Me earnestly find Me. Riches and honour are with Me; enduring wealth and righteousness. My fruit is better than gold, yea than fine gold, and My increase is better than the best silver. I walk in the path of righteousness, in the midst of the paths of justice; I cause those who love Me to inherit wealth; and I will fill up their treasuries. Jehovah possessed Me in the beginning of His way, from then, before His works. I was set up from everlasting; from the beginning, before the earth ever was... When he prepared the heavens, I was there... And now listen to Me, O sons; for blessed are those who keep My ways. Hear instruction, and be wise, and do not refuse it. Blessed is the man listening to Me, watching daily at My gates, waiting at the posts of My doors. For whoever finds Me finds life; and he shall obtain favor from Jehovah. But he who sins against Me does violence to his own SOUL; All who hate Me love death.”

-Proverbs 8:1-36

Sin is linked etymologically to Latin *sons ‘guilty,’ to English *sooth ‘truth,’ and to Sanskrit *satya- ‘real, true.’ It is possible the ancestral meaning of sin is simply ‘to be guilty of not telling the truth, or not being real.’ This is very important to point out, and relative to where I am headed with this discussion, as are the words HEAR and LISTEN emphasized above. 

Body is our flesh or material substance. The dictionary defines a person as “a living human body.”  Most of us identify ourselves to be a person. Our personality is our identity, character or essential qualities that make us individuals (existing as separate things or beings). We express who we are to others through our personality, which is shaped by our life experiences, the culmination of everything we have thought (head-spirit) and felt (heart-soul) up to this moment, and how well we have managed to integrate or unify these thoughts (head-spirit) and feelings (heart-soul). This is why Christ was considered the Son (personality) of God in the flesh, because he was the perfect embodiment (living, breathing example) of the marriage of Spirit (Father-God) and Soul (Mother-God). Our purpose in the flesh is to achieve and reflect this same perfect unity in the world, and to realize that we are not separate from God, but are God expressing through the vehicle of the body. 

So what is the SELF? Self is the TOTALITY of who we REALLY are, our three-fold nature: spirit, soul, and body-personality. So in order to find yourself, you must become whole, by recognizing who and what you really are and then acting as one SELF. 

To reiterate: The personality's purpose is to reflect out into the world the inner divine marriage of head (spirit) and heart (soul).  Integration must happen before you will ever feel whole, worthy, and like you are fulfilling your purpose. Inner unity (a marriage of head and heart) must be expressed through your personality (in the physical through your actions, words, and deeds), before you will EVER be happy in any relationship. This is the true meaning of marriage in the Bible and of “thou shalt not commit adultery”. We are adulterers when we follow after, or rule our lives by, another's husband (head-reasoning) or another's wife (heart-feelings). 

ADULTERY, HARLOT, JEZEBEL, FORNICATION - these all translate to Greek (Strong's reference 2403) as ‘to practice idolatry’. I.D.OLATRY. In the book of Revelation, everywhere a derivative of these words are used the meaning points to Greek (Strong's reference 1496 & 1497) as race; an IMAGE servant or worshiper. An adulterer, fornicator, harlot, jezebel, and idolater are all the same thing.  They are all literally someone who follows after another's image or ideology (doctrine, way of thinking, speculation, theory)! 

The need for an inner marriage is where our drive to search for a partner comes from. It is merely a reflection of the necessity to unite within our beings as ONE-SELF, just as God is a trinity, yet One-Self. When you become whole, one-self, you will find that ALL THE LOVE you could ever ask for is, and always was, there inside of you.  All outer searches for a soul mate are simply a result of our inherent obligation to achieve inner harmony, an inner sacred marriage.   

Once you achieve this divine inner marriage of head-heart-personality, you will vibrate at a different frequency, and will draw to you someone who is like you, someone else who is whole.  This person will have followed the same path to find you, the path of wholeness, so will also know who they REALLY are. Then the two of you will be in atonement (at-one-ment) with each other... true soul mates.  

Again, physics defines The Law of Attraction as the mutual (shared in common) action by which bodies or particles tend to draw together or cohere (hold together in a mass that resists separation). You must make yourself like that which you wish to attract and stay together with.