1999

Kade,                                   

I had another dream after seeing you -

For the last couple of weeks I have been feeling very spiritually disconnected from what I once believed so strongly. I have been getting caught back up in the world and trying to survive in it, forgetting that all I have to do is to concentrate on the inside, and that the outside will be provided for... that "The Kingdom of God is within." It was strange that your horoscope said something about that for you, and that we discussed how you have been thinking about that, and haven't been concentrating so much on money. I have been asking myself why I don't just jump out in faith and just go ahead and do what I want to do, which is to write and work on the web site... but I have been to afraid to trust that I will be taken care of. I have allowed the cares of serving in the world to distract me from my path.

As you know, I always have a very spiritual dream or vision of something when I have been with you. Tuesday night after we talked, I had an unbelievable dream, and you were in it. I really wanted to call you up and tell you about it, but I decided to write it to you instead, so that I could put it on the website and share it with others who may also need to hear the message.

I also want to tell you that before I saw you, my cards and runes were telling me the same thing over and over, which was that our seeing each other again on Tuesday was going to bring about enlightenment and divine communication with my soul. After I had the dream, I asked if it was the enlightenment I was supposed to receive from seeing you, and this is the answer I received:

The Rune 'Dagaz' - Day - Meaning: The Lord's messenger - the rune of enlightened consciousness, awakening and awareness. A great awakening is at hand. True vision will be gained. It is the seeing of reality through the eyes of the soul - the "wake-up" rune. This rune is likened to a butterfly to symbolize the transformation that occurs, when we crawl out of the cocoon of socialization that has imprisoned us and held us in darkness. When we are in darkness, we cannot perceive what life is about, and gain the freedom to soar into an existence that is charged with Love and that transcends all that we have experienced so far. It is the power of experiencing the One-ness of existence. It is the power of becoming one with the Spirit of God.

THIS IS THE DREAM:

At first I was outside, on a path next to a forest, and there was a clearing behind me with a church in it. I came upon three young men who were torturing and killing people for the fun of it. They were killing people in horrifying ways. They killed one guy by stabbing him in the heart with a fireplace poker, and another by holding him upside down, spreading his legs and cutting him in two with a chain saw. They seemed to be choosing their victims in a way that was like they were passing judgment on their worthiness to be alive. This went on for a while, and they started developing a cult like following because the things they were doing were so terrifyingly unbelievable, and people were gathered in masses to watch them.

In the next part of the dream I found myself inside that church, in an audience that was waiting to watch a sacrificial show, which was being put on by these same killers. There was a huge crowd gathered to watch, and everyone was wondering who would be picked from the audience to be the victim. You were sitting next to me and I was explaining to you what had been going on. Then the next thing I knew, you and I were helping to carry some huge cardboard box down an escalator that was going to be used in the show. We were carrying it over our heads, and it hid the whole top of our bodies... and the whole time we were talking to each other about the show and what might happen, and we were very filled with fear about who might be chosen. When we were done carrying the box, you went back to your seat, and without you knowing it, one of the men grabbed me by the arm and said you have been chosen; you are the one who will die tonight. I got upset and said, "no, I am smart and worthy... you don't want to kill me." He said, "yes we do, you are the one... prepare yourself." I was so afraid, and I wanted to scream out your name, and to let you know that I had been elected, but I was afraid that it would draw their attention to you, and that they would kill you too. I was standing there afraid to move, waiting for death... then all of the sudden I felt you grab my hand, and you whispered in my ear, "let's go, we are going to run... I'm getting you out of here... I won't let them kill you." I said, "no, they will kill you too, go back to your seat while you can, before they see you." But you insisted, and pointed toward a door. When they weren't looking, we slipped through the crowd and out the door, and then we were faced with a choice... we could run out of the church, into the world, or we could run up some stairs, and ascend to the top of the church. We decided to run up the stairs, and every time we reached another level, we would just keep going up. We were stepping on the stairs very lightly as not to make any noise, because we could hear them below us, looking for us; they were coming up after us. We were so terrified that I cannot describe it in words. We were tired from running and just when we were about to give up, we came across a woman who looked like a street person, dressed in rags, with a cloak covering her head. We said to her, "have you been hiding up here all this time... please show us were we can hide with you; they are coming." She motioned for us to follow her, and she led us into a room. The room had no place to hide, but there was a newspaper on the floor and a bowl of water was sitting on top of it. She picked up the bowl and poured out the water, and then told us to kneel down on the newspaper. Then she said, "hide under this," and she placed the bowl over our heads. I was holding one side of the bowl with my left hand, and you were holding the other with your right, and we were telling her desperately, "this bowl is to small to hide under, they will see us, we can't hide here; please tell us where we can hide!!!!"... like she was crazy. She just looked at us and smiled and said, "it's magic, you MUST BELIEVE like a child," then she disappeared. We could hear them coming and we were trembling in terror. We were holding hands with our other hands, while down on our knees, holding that small bowl over our heads... and we were whispering, pleading in horror to God, "Hale Mary, Mother of God, full of grace, protect us in the hour of our death." We were repeating it over and over again. Then I started thinking and believing that it would work, that if we just had FAITH and believed like little children, as promised, that they wouldn't be able to see us... that we would be provided for and protected by believing. Then I woke up!

DREAM SYMBOLISM & MY INTERPRETATION:

The path was the path to the truth of how to return to God. The forest was clouding the path, like "you can't see the forest for the trees." The clearing represented clear sight; the truth was waiting there in plain sight to be discovered, inside the church.

While on the path, I met the evil men who were killing people, and saw the masses who were allowing this to happen, because they were trapped by fear. I believe they represented FEAR itself, and the effects it has on our lives. They were the material/illusional world and our participation in it... our choosing, by our own free will, not to seek God first, but to instead live in a world of illusion and ignorance - separated from His influence. That is why one man was killed with a fireplace poker stabbing him in the heart... and another being cut in two with a chainsaw (the heart is where God/Love resides - ignorance and our free will to choose it, causes our separation from God, keeping us from being whole). These scenes were showing that if we follow along with the world and the masses, because we think we have no other choice in order to survive, that we will surely die (because we will never come to find God in the outside world). Why would all those people have freely chosen to be there watching, knowing that they could possibly be picked to die such a terrible death? They represented the 'un-enlightened' masses who were blindly allowing fear to control their lives, and were creating their own misfortunes in their lives, because they refuse to see the truth.

The church represented our bodies/temples, where He (Christ) lives in us... and comes to communicate with us as the voice of the Holy Spirit... the place where the Spirit of God resides... where our souls are trapped, calling to us to awaken to our own power to escape sin, which is really just the separation from God. The truth lies within each of us... not in anything that we may look to in the outside world.

The escalator that we took DOWN, carrying the box over our heads, was like saying that you cannot ascend in higher knowledge, when you allow yourself to live in "A box." You must be able to think outside the box in order to ever find the truth about God and Yourself.

The door represented a doorway to the truth... To go through the door was our choice. I was afraid at first to go through, because I was allowing fear to stop me. It represented a way to escape (from the world of illusion and ignorance) that was going to kill us (keep us separated from God).

The stairs represented ascension, and climbing to new levels of awareness and the understanding of who and what God and we really are. "Knock and the door shall be opened... Seek and ye shall find..." We chose to go up in search of our safety, instead of running out into the world to find it.

The woman was a fairy godmother, in disguise as a helpless/homeless woman (like in children's stories). She represented the wisdom held in our unconscious minds, as it says in the Bible, "Wisdom is a woman"... which is symbology for the wisdom of God being hidden in the subconscious mind (or heart), which is considered to be the feminine part of our minds. She was leading us to safety, telling us the secret. But we can only be open to receiving Her message... to seeing and knowing the REAL truth, by having the faith of a child... that is why she said to us, "YOU MUST BELIEVE." BELIEVING AS A CHILD, in magic, and simple things can prove to be impossible to adults, whose Egos and analytical minds have been programmed over time, from living in the world, to disbelieve in the things that they can't see, or touch, or prove is real.

The bowl of water represented the pouring out of emotions, as well as the out-pouring of the Holy Spirit. The bowl became empty and was placed on our heads, representing that the mind must be empty and receptive in order to receive the truth. It can't be clouded with religious dogma, social conditioning, etc.

I believe the newspaper represented that religious dogma and social conditioning, etc., that we get from the outside world... and all the information that we receive that keeps us from being able to BELIEVE in the simple magic of God and who we really are... created in his image, with the power to create everything that exists around us. It also represented all the negative input (news) that we feed our minds, that causes us to stay confused and distracted from searching for, and eventually finding God (Truth). We were kneeling on it together... trying to but it beneath us... to rise above it, and put it in it's place.

You and I represented the male and female that lives in each of us (the conscious and subconscious parts of our minds)...(yin & yang - smile) - that needs to become balanced and equal in order for us to become WHOLE... which is how we eventually find God/Truth. That is why we were holding hands and kneeling together under the ONE bowl. It was going to take both of us (both parts of our minds) working together... believing together... in order for us to be saved.

Well that's it... maybe it will mean something to you too!

Shelley