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Written
New Year's Eve 99'
Kade,
This is ME… trusting you enough to let you in;
it's me showing you who I am. This is my writing,
unedited, straight from the depths of my soul. An idea
came to me tonight, after we hung up the phone.
I was very much in pain after our conversation, so
much so, that I felt like I couldn't even breathe,
much less be alone with myself, and I just wanted to
escape, to get high and fly away from the hurt.
Then, while I was crying out loud, "why is this
happening to me again", I received an answer.
Like I told you, I've known
for two years that we were going to meet. It was
shown to me over and over by my readings, and the
readings of others. For you to show up that
far in advance, for me to wait that long to finally
meet you, must have been for a very important
lesson… a life changing one… that would help not
only me, but others. To see it come to pass
like it did, exactly as predicted, proved to me that
there is an Omniscient power that we can tap into...
within... and that we all have a destiny… whether
we choose to accept it or not… and whether or not
we choose, by our own free will, to fulfill it.
It confirms to me that we are all connected, and
that we are all small parts of the whole... the ONE.
Maybe
God is all that exists... maybe we all, connected
and added together, equal the ONE LIVING GOD. Maybe
WE are extensions of God... pieces that split off
from the whole, in order to better explore Itself,
fueling evolution.
Maybe we are helping God expand Its conscious
awareness of Itself. This theory can be backed up by
the Bible, and that is an awesome story to be
awakened to. It has changed my perception of
life. It gives me so much more hope and
potential, so much more than the Christian viewpoint
on faith, with its confining interpretations, dogma,
and guilt. I have found so much lacking in the
Christian belief system, like for example, what the
other half of the world believes. There is ONE
TRUTH that accounts for all beliefs, and I have been
led to it by The Holy Spirit, because I asked to be.
I have been seeking, and studying so many things in
the scriptures, and have found them to be very
clear. Most can't understand them though, and
take them literally, not realizing that they are
written in a secret alchemical language... one that
becomes plain, when you have the key to decode it.
That key is waiting for everyone to reach out and
take it, and all that need be done is to declare to
your-Self that you WANT it... that you want to know
the TRUTH about God, Life, and why we are here.
I think I was meant to put
words like this on paper, honest words about what
goes through peoples minds… to put a voice to the
things that they fear talking about… the things
that they do… the true inner feelings that they
are afraid to express. Some people
kill themselves over things like this... over
relationships not working out... feeling so alone
and unworthy of love... not being able to
communicate their feelings... that is something we
have discussed at length... and it is so sad and
senseless. I think, "if only they knew
the truth," about GOD, themselves, and the LOVE
that exists for them to have freely. I want to
reach those people who feel that alone, and shine
the light of love on them. I want them to know
that they are not alone... but I have to win my own
battle first... don't I? Every lesson makes me
stronger.
I am going to write about
my experiences, and why I think I've had so much
pain in my life, so that other people can read about
them, and discover that there is a reason for the
madness… that a beautiful light waits for them at
the end of the tunnel, if they will only be brave
enough to walk through it, with their eyes wide
open. These upsets in life are not the end of
the world. They are merely stepping stones to the
ultimate goal. The answer is learning how to master
your own Ego and emotions, and being able to let go
when you must... by having faith in a higher purpose
for all life. I want everyone to know the
symbolism behind Christ's death, and the meaning of
the cross... and to find that same kind of wholeness
and LOVE for humanity in their own hearts
(Christ-Consciousness), like I have found.
I'm
displaying my heart, for the world to see,
Judgment
no longer matters to me.
I'm
free now, from the illusion of sin,
And
want to help others begin...
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