Many people ask me, "Who is Kade?"  Most of the poems and emails posted on my site were written to him.  He is one of my many soul mates.  He was only meant to come into my life for a short season, but what a harvest my-Self did realize, in that short Spring of awakening, of testing all that I believed myself to be.  I was determined to show him who I really was, whether he would accept me or not, trusting the whisper of my soul, as it said, "Never again deny your own heart." Thank you Kade, for being real, and for always taking me as I am. Thank you for letting ME out; this site is dedicated to you.

From: WhatWithIt@aol.com
To: asassycat@att.net
Sent: Friday, March 10
Subject: Re: Saw your website

Hello, I love your poetry. Just one question... who in the world is Kade?
LOL, Tami

In a message dated 3/10/00
asassycat@att.net writes:

Hi Tami,

To answer your question, Kade is many things, but describable is not one of them... although I'll give it my best shot. He is the man who inspired the poems, simply by just being real, and allowing me to be the same. His acceptance of who I am, regardless of his different (and many) opinions, opened me up to trusting enough, so that I could allow myself to be vulnerable and exposed.

I think you have to trust the one your with, and know where you stand, before you can drop your defenses and allow yourself to become that unguarded, and un-inhibited. I didn't have to worry about what he would think of me if I did this, or said that... because when I looked into his eyes, they reflected only acceptance, not judgment. He allowed me to feel my own ecstasy, through his honesty and realness. He touched my heart and soul! He will always be a part of me.

I hope that answers your question.

Thanks for visiting my site, and saying that you liked my poems.

Take Care,

Shelley

----- Original Message -----
From: WhatWithIt@aol.com
To: asassycat@att.net
Sent: Friday, March 10, 2000
Subject: Re: Saw your website

Hello again,

Thank you for taking the time to respond. Do you mind me asking... is Kade someone (obviously) you met on here, the computer?? Someone you met eventually? How did you meet? How long did you know him before you met? Are you still together?

I guess the reason I am so interested is, you seem so intense... like someone who thinks as I do... I met someone on here as well, a year ago, March 12th... we are still together, planning to get married.

I've never known a love so intense.

I write poetry also, and what's weird is I wrote a poem long before I met him, that I feel like was written directly TO him. I'm not a person who believes in fate, destiny etc... but this poem... well it's just odd. Maybe I'll dig it out and send it to you .

Tami

----- Original Message -----
From: asassycat@att.net
To: WhatWithIt@aol.com
Sent: Saturday, March 11, 2000
Subject: Re: my poem from Tami

Tami,

I have a lot that I want to say to you!!

I am on my way out right now, but I will sit down and write to you tonight, when I get home, and try to answer the questions you asked me.

We have so much to teach each other... if we would only take the time to listen and really see others... instead of being blinded by the expectations and desires of our own egos.

Your poem is unbelievable... and I am honored to read it. It speaks of so much truth... truth that I have found... truth that is hidden in all of us waiting to be found. That desire that caused you to write it is the same desire that causes us to search out the truth about God and our existence. That's what we truly find when we start recognizing the lessons about love... that we learn from each other.

Is it ok with you if I publish your poem and our correspondence with each other on my website?

I'll write you back very soon,

Shelley

TAMI'S POEM:

All alone, waiting for you
Ready to continue
Memories are beginning
To seep thru the veil
I can't tell what
Then You..
The resurgence of you
The bells don't sound
The sparks don't fly
Can this be him? I ask myself
I'd recognize you, wouldn't I?
I'm him, you whisper
The one you're awaiting
From times of ancient
From eternity past
I'm back for you
They're testing us this time
Our roles are such a paradox
Putting us thru the trial
Mortal life fatal life
Ephemeral life
They've lowered the curtain
Concealed the past
Left all alone
To fend for ourselves
Without our identities
To test our incessant love
My memory has been erased
I'm unaware of who you are
My spiritual, celestial soulmate
Left alone we are
With no knowledge
Of the test we are taking
Proving our eternal love
To pass the criterion
To prove worthy of
The Sacred Union
Not aware of the real benefit
Of our Earthly tribulation
If we can hold on
To win our prize
To unveil the truth
Allowing us to join as one
Eternally

----- Original Message -----
From: asassycat@att.net
To: WhatWithIt@aol.com
Sent: Saturday, March 11, 2000
Subject: Re: Saw your website

Hi Tami,

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! I would love to read your poem... and would even like to put it on my website, along with our e-mails to each other.

I am going to try to answer all of your questions, so please bare with me...

I did not meet Kade on the internet. I was lead to him while following the trail of my destiny. You see... I DO BELIEVE in destiny/fate... and I also believe that we have the Free-Will not to follow it... as God loves us enough to give us the freedom to choose which way we will go. We can choose to follow Him (which I believe is our destiny or Higher Purpose), by giving up our own selfish ego-related desires and sacrificing our lives to helping His cause (which I believe is uniting the world in LOVE and PEACE)... or we can choose to walk blindly through life following our own desires... and the beauty of God, is that He loves us regardless of what we choose.

I knew I was going to meet Kade for 2 years, before I actually met him... it was shown to me (revealed). He is one of my many soulmates, who have come into my life, who were set on my path by God, to help awaken me to my Higher Purpose. Because of my meeting him (and my following the path to him), I was inspired to write those poems... and I started developing my writing abilities, and my website... which is part of my higher purpose, I believe. I believe I am meant to reach people (like you) with a message about LOVE... and to help other's awaken to their destiny or higher purpose. I believe that the people whom my message is meant for will be lead to my site, like you were.

About whether Kade and I are still together... to answer your question honestly, I must say that we never really were TOGETHER (not like you think)... even though everyone assumes that because of our connection, that we must be in-love. We never had a verbally committed relationship... You see, Kade is very wise, and he tells the truth... and he was brave enough to tell me that he was not in love with me... and even more so... to realize that I was not meant to stay in his life in that role. I must admit that I wanted to be in-love with him so badly, and to give him my whole life, but this would have been wrong for me, and he knew it. It was a very big test for me, and I have had to apply everything that I have learned, in order to be able to keep from becoming emotionally side-tracked from my path. I love him though, and I know he loves me too - not in the way you think of normally - but in his soul - with God's all-encompassing love. Love can be very confusing... but I am learning to understand it more and more.

Shelley

----- Original Message -----
From: WhatWithIt@aol.com
To: asassycat@att.net
Sent: Saturday, March 11, 2000
Subject: Re: Saw your website

Hello Shelley,

I still have a couple of things I'm not quite sure about... How DID you meet Kade then? (very beautiful name by the way). Who exactly IS he?
You talk a lot about God, but in an "un-average" sense. Do you believe the Bible? I'm wondering HOW you came up with your beliefs?
(Shelley says - We become mentally WHOLE and HEALTHY when we recognize that we are not truly separated from God)... Exactly what do you mean by this?

I am a Christian... and do believe, that if people are not believers in these things (next) then you ARE separated from God. This is the Apostle Paul speaking...

1 Corinthians 15... "Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand;...
2
By which also ye are saved, IF ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.
3
For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;
4
And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures..."

This is just something interesting... I would hate to see you have a zeal all your own and not where it really should be:

ROMANS 10 - "For I bear them record that they have a zeal of God, but not according to knowledge...
3
For they being ignorant of God's righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God.
4
For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to every one that believeth..."

(SHELLEY SAYS-The answer to healing and happiness lies in learning how to achieve Christ-Consciousness)...

WHAT do you mean by Christ-Consciousness?

Again, thanks for your time, this is very interesting to me.

Tami

----- Original Message -----
From: asassycat@att.net
To: WhatWithIt@aol.com
Sent: Saturday, March 11, 2000
Subject: Re: Saw your website

Hi Tami,

I am sitting here contemplating how to answer this e-mail of yours... and I was just wondering if you have read only my poems... or if you have also read the e-mails that I wrote to Kade, that are posted on my site?? The e-mails explain a lot about what I mean about Christ-Consciousness.

I understand your concern about my Zeal... and being lead astray from the scriptures... as do I, being raised very strictly as a Christian. There are many things hidden in the words used by the Apostles... they used symbolism... and when you understand this symbolism, the scriptures take on a whole new interpretation... one that makes so much sense... and it opens the whole bible up in ways you can't imagine, even the book of Revelations. Think about it... how can only Christianity hold the truth? How can half the world be wrong (like the eastern philosophies)? There is only ONE TRUTH... and it should explain everything... it should explain the Bible, Science, Evolution, Creation, Eastern Philosophies, Reincarnation, Heaven & Hell, Christianity, etc.

What if I told you that all of these things are small pieces of one big truth, and that they are all taught by the bible... and that it becomes very plain, once you understand the symbolism. They are all parts of the ONE TRUTH... There is one explanation that makes them all fit together.

Even though it doesn't seem like it... I believe that Christ-Consciousness is the only way to salvation... just as the bibles says... and that there is no other way except by Christ's example!

I am going to write to you and try to share the symbolism, so that you can search it out for yourself... so bare with me while I do so, as it may take me a while. Just know that it is not my purpose to try to change anything that you believe... I am only telling you because you asked.

I believe that there are many paths to the TRUTH... and I do not judge which path is better than another... and would never want to lead someone astray.

I find it interesting that you as a Christian, have written a poem that is rich in symbolism of the eastern philosophies and reincarnation... about soulmates... the veil... etc.

I will send my explanation soon,

Shelley

----- Original Message -----
From: asassycat@att.net
To: WhatWithIt@aol.com
Sent: Saturday, March 11, 2000
Subject: Re: Saw your website

To answer your specific questions about Kade... I'm not sure what you want me to say, when you ask me "who is he." I hope this will address it:

I met Kade at a party... through mutual friends. It was not a coincidence, it was fate/destiny... it was foretold to me that it would happen just like it did... for two years before I actually met him. I even knew what sign he would be... and the basic thing that he would do for a living. So when the clues presented themselves... and I saw that it was all lining up... I cooperated with my soul by following the trail right to him. I'm sure you are wondering how it was foretold to me... but that would take to much to explanation right now.

He is a man who became my friend and lover... but he is not... and never really was... my boyfriend (not if you asked him anyway). He is Catholic, and he has conflicts with what I believe... or he thinks he does anyway (smile). When we really take the time to discuss a subject, we find that we are coming to the same end by different means. This is what I mean when I say that there are many paths to the one truth... which is that Christ (following his example) offers the one and only way to salvation.

I came up with my beliefs by seeking the truth. I prayed to God to send the Holy Spirit to guide me in my search to know the truth... and asked Him not to let me be lead astray by any man. In turn I promised that I would seek, and I have not stopped seeking. It is promised in the Bible that we will know the truth if we seek it out... "Seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be opened."

My Mother was sick with cancer when I prayed that prayer... and she died when she turned 47, on her birthday, within the same hour she was born. Before she was sick, she prayed one day to God that if He would only save her family, that she would do anything... that she would even be willing to die for us, if that's what it would take to make us find God. Oddly enough... even though she was declared in perfect health just 3 months earlier by a physical... she ended up with the deadliest form of Ovarian Cancer, which was spread throughout her entire body, only 1 month after praying that prayer. She died almost exactly one year later.

Her sickness caused me to seek answers in God... and He has opened my heart in love with His truth... and I in-turn want to share it with everyone that God chooses to place into my life!

I hope this answers the first part of your questions... next I will try to address the scriptures you mentioned.

Shelley

----- Original Message -----
From: WhatWithIt@aol.com
To: asassycat@att.net
Sent: Tuesday, March 14, 2000
Subject: Re: My poem from Tami

Shelley,

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you... I am sort of busy sometimes... I have 4 sons, whom I unschooled... a way of home schooling, where you let them lead the way with their natural learning curiosity... Also a fiancé who is one of the NEEDIEST people I've ever met!... Also a custody battle coming up soon again from my psycho ex... he did this custody crap before and didn't show up... like a judge is going to give him custody now. LOL... Also a house to clean all day - the one we live in, and a brand new one that we decorate... which we will be moving into when we get married!!!!

Let me do this.....
I will tell you about me so you know who you are talking with ok? LOL
I am 29 years old, live in MN. I was raised Pentecostal (holy rollers , who speak in tongues) but switched to a grace church 2 years ago after YEARS of being nothing... pentecostalness turned me off. I don't believe in all the weird stuff, just the plain Bible ... The Bible to be taken for what it says, not symbolism. But would love to hear what you have to say.

I didn't write that poem as something I believe in, just something weird... I have always had a interest in weird stuff, different beliefs etc... my fiancé use to practice Wicca. I would be much to afraid to participate in something like that! LOL

I have interests in natural medicine, making my own products, like soap, laundry soap... have weird beliefs in food... example... milk not being good for you... it was intended for baby cows not humans... is the biggest allergen around... etc... the chemicals in milk, and meat being so bad etc. Although, we eat both, I just KNOW it's bad, and try to use less. I have breastfed my kids... my youngest still nurses, he is 4!!!! Attachment parenting, extended nursing, allowing kids to sleep with you (family bed), unschooling, stay at home mom... I would make a good witch eh? LOL

I am a regular everyday Christian, with an interest in the un-average. I did read a lot of the emails to Kade on your website. I don't understand a lot of it, and to be truthful, I wonder a little bit if you are a woman who simply wanted to be with someone you met... and he fed you a line of bull, and you didn't mean as much to him as he meant to you... and you are accepting it as "fate"... not the right "choice" for you.

Where in the Bible do you get ideas of having a fate... a life mapped out for you.. aside from being saved? Why did you meet Kade then, why didn't YOU know he wasn't for you? Why was it foretold to you that you would meet him... if he wasn't even the person for you?

I believe we all do sort of have a fate to live a life in the will of God as outlined in Paul's epistles... whatever we do in life so long as it is not un-Godly... is our choice... God would never lead us to someone if we were sexual with them without being married... I'm not saying you and Kade have been, but it seems like it in your poems... I'm not condemning you, not saying I am any better...

Who else is having a fate for you... Who is having a plan for you if it isn't God? And He certainly wouldn't have a plan that included going against His wishes. I am not a person who believes I'm any better, but I do believe it is true that Christ is the way to salvation... I don't believe Muslims are saved, don't believe Catholics are saved, don't believe Pentecostals are saved, don't believe Buddhists are saved...

This is how I believe you are saved... NOT by ONLY believing in God, the Bible says Satan believes and trembles... and we know he's not saved! BUT, by believing first IN him, then in the finished work of the cross. Christ paid our price at the cross. His blood forgave all sins. Muslims don't believe the finished work of the cross... Catholics don't believe in the finished work of the cross, or they wouldn't ask for forgiveness... we're already forgiven, Jesus did it all (NOBODY who believes you MUST be baptized to be saved has it right)... Pentecostals for one... Baptism was for another era, not ours, I can show you if you want... How can we believe Jesus did it all if we think WE can do anything to get saved? All He asks is for faith... in his finished work.

Eph 1:7 - "...In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace..."
Ephesians 2:8-9 "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God, Not of works, lest any man should boast."

If this is a little to Bible bangerish let me know... I would love to hear from you again, and don't want to be boring etc...

Tami

----- Original Message -----
From: Asassycat asassycat@worldnet.att.net
To: WhatWithIt@aol.com
Sent: Tuesday, March 14, 2000
Subject: Re: My poem from Tami

Tami,

That's ok... I'm very busy to, although it sounds like you're much busier... with 4 kids and all that entails... especially since you are unschooling them (which I have never heard of before)... sounds interesting.

I would wish you luck on the custody battle, but it doesn't sound like you need it... and I don't really believe in luck anyway.

I was raised very strictly as a 7th Day Adventist... if you know what they believe. My grandfather and uncle were both ministers... and my mom and uncle went to a private academy growing up. So... you might say that I have been strictly taught to believe in the Bible, and have even read many books that warn against some of the things that I believe in now. I understand everything you are saying about the scriptures that you have quoted to me, and I completely understand where you are coming from... but I do have answers to all of the questions you have asked me... and I could tell you how the bible relates... It would just take me way to long to do it, and I also do not want to make it my mission to change your beliefs or anyone else's... that is not what I am about. I will be designing a website, and attaching it to the one I already have that will explain many of the things you have asked me about though... so I will let you know when I get it put up, so that you can possibly understand where I am coming from, if you want to.

The site will explain how all of these beliefs can be shown to be parts of ONE big TRUTH... all containing truth, but not being the WHOLE truth in and of themselves. It will show how ONE thing... the truth about who and what God is... can answer all of the conflicting beliefs below. And... to my amazement... the bible backs this up (and I check all things against the Word)... You just must have the eyes to see. You must become as a little child in order to enter the kingdom, you must be able to put your grown-up mind aside, which has been influenced by society and upbringing...

Christianity / Bible
All Eastern Religions / Philosophy
Wicca
Astrology / Tarot / Numerology / etc.
Charkas / Crystals / etc.
Life After Death Experiences
Reincarnation
Destiny / Fate / Karma / Free-Will
Science
And I could go on and on and on...

To answer about Kade... yes I have slept with him. Those poems are inspired by my real times with him. I could never have written them if I hadn't been with him. To explain all of the questions you asked... and I DO have answers for all of them... would just take me to long right now... but they will all be answered on the new site I'm making.

I wish I could just explain it easily in an e-mail... but that would be impossible. I will say though, that the Bible IS full of symbolism... every word in our language is a symbol. A word is a symbol for a meaning... and every word in the Bible, depending on whether in Greek or Hebrew, depending on the New or Old Testament, has a specific Greek or Hebrew meaning. You must be able to understand the Greeks and Hebrews, and their meanings of the words, in order to truly understand what was being taught by their writings. Example: Do you know what the words LIGHT, HELL, SPIRIT.... mean in Greek and Hebrew? The definitions take on whole new meanings when compared to what we think of when we read them, because of what we are taught. Example: Spirit means Breath... Hell means Grave or Pit. Even the word WOMAN is packed full of symbolism that you can't begin to imagine. Also... the Hebrew Alphabet is all number coded. Every individual letter has a numerical value and meaning all it's own. You can't imagine the real information that is in the Bible that is overlooked because people don't want to be true SEEKERS, which is what you must be to find the truth. It is much easier to listen to and believe what someone else preaches... like in church once a week, for an hour. "Seek and ye shall find... knock and the door shall be opened". I could get on a roll now... but it wouldn't make any sense to you right now... and again... I don't want to try to change ANY OF YOUR BELIEFS. I don't need to make you believe like me, nor do I want to. I am only responding to your questions.

I will e-mail you some things you might find very interesting... about the Bible and the numerology messages in it.

Please know that I DO UNDERSTAND everything you are trying to say to me with the scriptures... I have used them before, just like you, to people like me (smile).

By the way... I don't find any of this boring... and I welcome anything you want to say!

Shelley